ExistenceThe True Story
by MikaVerLeth
Summary: Monica Reyes tells the true story of existence; what really happened when we weren't watching
1. Chapter 1

Driving kept me from watching Scully and Thinking of Scully kept me from falling asleep, like it had been doing for so long now. Ever since the day I had met her.

I was driving along some rural road in my beige sedan. Dana Scully was asleep in the passenger seat. I'd been driving all night from DC. I needed to take Scully to safety, and her unborn child as well. Scully woke up with a jolt; she didn't seem to know where she was until she looked at me.

"Oh, god. I was hoping it was all a dream. When did the sun come up?" she asked.

I shot her a weary glance wanting to make sure she was all right.

"About six hours ago." I responded looking back to the road. "Somewhere back in North Carolina."

"Where are we?" Scully inquired sitting up straight in her seat.  
"We just crossed into Georgia." I gave her another quick look.

"A long way from home, Agent Scully."  
"Well under the circumstances…"

I couldn't resist looking at her baby-belly before gluing my eyes to the road again. I was really starting to get nervous about the birth and on top of that I desperately needed a cigarette.  
"Are you all right, Agent Reyes?" Scully had obviously noticed my unease. I wanted to divert the attention from me so I replied:

"I should ask how you're doing. I mean…you're the one who's going to have this baby."  
"That's it isn't it? What you're really worried about?" Scully replied.

"Aside from whatever danger we're in…" I heaved a sigh. "Where we're going doesn't sound like…" I was worried about how the pregnant woman would react. "Like there's all that much in the way of a … facility. You know what I mean? I've never delivered a baby." I didn't dare a glance at the redheaded woman sitting next to me.

"Well I've never had one. That makes us both beginners." She gave me a reassuring smile and laid her hand on my arm.

The remainder of the trip past with no complications. As we were taking country roads there was little traffic. I insisted on driving all the way even though I was dead tired. Only when I almost fell asleep Scully was able to convince me to sleep for a few hours, and I did, but my sleep was plagued by nightmares. When I woke after an hour or two I shooed the pregnant woman back to the passenger seat.

It was dark when the two of us arrived at a deserted resort. It was a starry cloudless night, and when I turned of the headlights of my car the surroundings were still well light. Scully and I got out of the car and while I retrieved some supplies from the back seat, Scully had a look around.

"End of the road." I said, closing the car door.

"Yeah. Literally. If anybody finds us out here it really will be a miracle." Scully mumbled.

"Where exactly are we?" She asked facing me.

"Democrat Hot Springs. According to Agent Dogget this is where people used to come for the waters. Until the springs dried up and they quit coming. He was born here." Scully seemed rather uninterested in my eyes.

" Really? Well that's…comforting. I guess." She was still looking around.

"So where do you want to set up?" She inquired.

I tried to look confident as I led the way to one of the houses, although it looked rather shabby.

"Any particular reason?" Scully asked following seeming reluctant.

"I think I told you. I feel these energies about people and stuff and places. I found it works best to go with my instincts." I pulled out a flashlight from a bag I was carrying, switched it on and walked into the building. I let my torchlight sweep over the dust covered room we had just walked into. An old daybed stood in the center of the room.

"I'm starting to get a feeling myself." Scully mumbled.

I got the feeling that Scully was not happy with this place. I wanted to impress her and in that case it was not a good sign if Scully was unimpressed. Scully waddled over to a cobweb covered sink and turned the handle; nothing happened.  
"well there's no water from this rock. We're going to need some water and a place to boil it. Along with sterile supplies and a clean place to do this delivery." Scullys voice rang with criticism.

I was starting to feel increasingly uneasy, but when Scully looked my way I managed myself to smile weakly at her.

"I'm a little stiff from the drive."

The need to smoke had become unbearable, so I handed Scully the flashlight. Dana took it and sighed as she began looking around the room.

"Okay."  
I left the building again and pulled out her cigarettes and my lighter. As I smoked I looked up at the sky and saw a bright light. I looked at it made me think of the whole situation: Scully having her baby, my feelings for my friend – although I guess she was hardly a friend. I barely knew her. The first time I had seen her I had recognized Scullys striking beauty, but as I got to know her I noticed that not only her body was beautiful. I knew that any move I could make would not only ruin our reputation in the FBI but also the relationship they had now. I sighed and walked back into the building after taking one last drag and stubbing out the cigarette with my shoe.

Scully was sitting on the daybed when I came in; she got up with a determined expression.

"We have a lot of work to do, Agent Reyes."  
"Don't worry about all of this, Dana. Maybe you should get some rest. I don't know if there is a bed so maybe you'll have to spend the night in the car. Will that be all right?"  
"Are you sure you don't need help?" I was nudging Dana toward the door.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. If you need anything I'll be here." I promised.

When Scully had left with the car keys in her hand, I began the long tedious job of cleaning up this dirty excuse for a house. I started by getting rid of the cobwebs with an old towel she found upstairs along with a pile of sheets. After a short while I started getting hot so I decided to take of my jacket and tossed it into a corner, I felt much more comfortable in my white T-shirt. Later I went out to look for water. I found an old pump nearby and filled a bucket. I scrubbed everything thoroughly with the water and some soap she found in a bathroom. When I was finished cleaning I headed up the stairs to the bedroom and had another look around in a closet I found a big basin and some candles in a box. I remembered what Scully had said, so I went to the kitchen to see if the stove was working. A yell of joy almost escaped my lips when it flickered on. I turned around and looked at my work. In that moment I heard a car door close and I looked out the window. It was light outside and Scully had just gotten out of the car and was now stretching. I hurried to the door, opened it and called out to the smaller agent.  
"Dana…come see what you think."  
Scully walked into the house and gasped in surprise. As she looked around I watched proudly as a very pleased looking Scully walked through the room.

"Oh, my goodness. Look at this." Scully turned around to face me.

"Look at you…wow."  
Scully sat down on the daybed and ran her hands along the sheets and looked at the unlit candles that I had placed around the room.

"I found them folded up in a cabinet upstairs. And a nice porcelain basin and a whole box of candles." I remarked proudly. Scully seemed pleased with my work and that gave me a good feeling.  
"Do we have matches?" Dana shot me a hopeful look. I smiled at her slightly embarrassed.

"I've got a lighter." I had walked around the daybed and was now leaning against the iron bedpost.

"Yeah."  
"Now all we need is some mood music. Like whale song."  
Whale song?" Scully asked looking at me with a pulsed expression.

"Yeah, they've got these recordings of whales talking to each other, calling back and forth." I was really enthusiastic about all this and I saw Scully looking at me with a blank face before I closed my eyes and started making what I thought sounded like whale song.

"I… I don't know. It's like metaphysical." I was smiling until I caught Scully's gaze, I could not tell what she was thinking but assumed it wasn't good.

"You're looking at me like…I don't know; I probably sound like a goof." I said with a sheepish grin. I felt like a goof myself but would never admit it.

"No, no, it's not that. Um, I was thinking that you reminded me of someone that I was close to – my sister."  
"You're not close to her still?" I inquired not suspecting anything bad.

"Uh, she was killed…about five years ago…in my home." The redhead sighed and looked away. "It was a terrible time."

I was sorry about her sister, and regretted having asked about her. I wanted to comfort her so I softly laid my hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, it's uh… It's okay. Uh, thank you for um… putting this together... and it's not what I planned, but it's very nice." Scully said with an unsure tone in her voice. I gave her a reassuring smile and all of a sudden I felt a sudden wave of emotions toward my fellow agent. I felt the need to turn her head in my direction and kiss her.

"Dana…" I said quietly before I could stop myself and Scully turned her head. In that moment there was a noise outside and I looked up.

"What?"

"There is someone out there. Stay here." I rushed to the door pulling my gun out of its holster at the small of her back. I bursted out of the door, there was nothing there. I didn't lower my weapon and walked down the dirt street. When I still didn't see anything I put away and turned around planning to go back to Scully. Suddenly a big SUV turned into the road and came raging toward me. I whipped around pulling my gun out. The dirty car did not show any sign pf slowing down but I was petrified and couldn't move. In the last minute it stopped. The windows were so dirty, that I couldn't see inside.  
"Get out of the car! I'm a Federal Agent!" I bellowed trying to sound confident, seeing Scully standing in the doorway. She backed away into the building as the car door opened. There was something like a forest watch emblem on the door and an outdoorsy looking woman stepped out or the vehicle with her hands in the air. She spoke very calmly and with authority.

"I don't care who you are. Let's start by putting that weapon away. Just point it down now."  
Carefully I lowered my gun.

"I'm a Federal Agent." I repeated.

The woman stepped closer and I could see that she was a game warden.

"I heard you the first time. Just let me see some ID."  
She said with a strong southern accent.

I pulled out my badge out of my blue jeans and the two of us walked back into the buildings. Scully walked into the room holding up her badge as well.  
"I'm sure that this looks untoward, but my life is in danger. And my baby's. There's a man who's pursuing us and it's very important that he not find us here." She said firmly.

"We get hunters in here taking deer off-season. I've heard every excuse in the book, but this is far too original." The game warden explained. "You don't plan…uh… to have it here?" She asked with a slightly uneasy and astounded expression.

"It's not as crazy as it sounds. I mean, I hope it's not." I cut in." She's a doctor; she can coach me."  
"And what if something goes wrong? If you're a doctor you know the risks…you're unprepared here."  
"This man he's extremely dangerous." Scully said sounding worried. She looked at the game warden who nodded.

"I got a first aid kit in my truck. It's pretty basic, but better to have it than not. I'll be back with some towels and proper swaddling." With that she left the house. Scully looked at me and I winked at her.

"We can do this." I followed the game warden and was given the first aid kit.  
"Thank you." I watched the game warden leave, before I walked back and laid the kit on a table.

Scully was sitting on the daybed resting her head on her hands.

"Agent Scully are you all right?" I asked crossing the room to sit next to her.

"I'm just starting to realize how nervous I am getting about this whole thing." Scully said sighing.

"I'm confident, that we will manage this." I put my arm around her. In response Scully gave me an aquard look.

"What?" I asked bluntly.

"Nothing." Scully looked away smiling. I didn't know what this gesture meant but I felt too tired out to think about it.

"I was up all night…will you be all right alone for a while?"

"Yeah…Where will you sleep?" Scully inquired.  
"There's an old bed upstairs." As I got to my feel I gave the redhead a kiss on the cheek and walked up the stairs. I didn't dare wait for her reaction. My heart was racing, but when I lay down on the rickety bed I was so tired that I fell asleep almost immediately.

When I awoke it was starting to get dark and when I can down Scully was bustling around in the kitchen.  
"Can I have you lighter for a minute?" She asked me.  
"Sure." I handed her my cigarette lighter.

"I'll go get some water and see if I can dig up some more buckets."

A short while later the candles were lit and Scully was sitting at the table blotting her face with a damp cloth while I poured water into the porcelain basin.

"Thank you." Scully said. "Thank you."

I set down the bucket.

"I have to say with everything I know you must be feeling you look amazingly beautiful, Dana."

Scully looked at me slightly confused and I could tell that she didn't know what to say.

"And what about what you're feeling? Any vibrations, Agent Reyes?" Scully inquired after a long pause.

"I don't know." I answered reaching for my jacket.

"What?" Scully asked unease ringing in her voice.

"I don't know if I'm just being paranoid…" I said sighing. "But something feels off."  
the redhead gave me a curious look. I did not want her to worry anymore so she dropped the subject.

"We need some more water." I mumbled grabbing a bucket. I walked outside. The night was just as clear as the night before and once again I saw the light in the sky. I stopped to look at it for a moment before walking to the old fashioned pump. I started pumping to fill the bucket when all of a sudden I was grabbed from behind and when I looked up and saw Billy Miles; the man they had so desperately tried to avoid. I was terrified. He threw me against the wall of a nearby barn and I screamed. I wasn't really hurt, but in my panic I didn't know what to do. I looked around and spied a pitchfork, after I had realized that I had left my gun with Scully. I held my "weapon" up in defense. There was a loud gunshot and Billy Miles was knocked of his feet. I could see blood spaying through the air and the shot man didn't budge. I looked up as the game warden came around the corner holding up a shotgun. I was breathing heavily as I got to my feet. I was trembling as the warden asked me if I was all right. I nodded weakly and she made me help her drag Billy back to the main road. I saw Scully walking out of the door toward us.

"Go back inside Dana." I yelled.

We dropped Miles and the game warden ran to fetch her truck.

"Who is it?" Scully asked before she was close enough to recognize him. When she did see who it was, I could see how much this upset her and did my best to sooth her.

"Dana, it's okay. He's dead."  
"No it's not okay! What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said." I replied as calmly as I could manage. "Now go back inside. We'll take care of this."  
"They said that he couldn't be stopped!" Scully screeched.

"Dana, he has no vitals. He's lost too much blood." I answered in a firm tone.  
In that moment, as Scully looked down at the body, I noticed, that Billy Miles had lumps on the back of his neck; He was a replicant!

The warden had brought her SUV around and was now getting out of it.  
"Is this the man you were afraid of? How did he find you? I have to report this thing." She blurted out.

I was astonished that this woman seemed unshaken. She had just killed a man.

"No, you can't do that." Scully said with a strange expression on her face.

"I don't really have a choice." The game warden said simply.  
"No, I mean,I,umm…I just felt a contraction."  
As these words passed her lips my stomach dropped and I could feel the color draining from my face. The warden gave me a look before I sprang into action. I rushed forward to assist Scully who was stumbling toward the house again. I made her sit back on the daybed and told the warden to get a damp cloth. I sprinted to the kitchen and put on some water to boil. After that I went to get a long t-shirt for Scully to put on. In my haste I fumbled around for almost tem minutes before I found anything and another two till I found what I was looking for. I felt bad about about having Dana alone with that strange woman. When I returned the game warden was rushing to the redhead and kneeling between her legs.

"They're two minutes apart now. It's not going to be long."  
I held up the gray T-shirt I had dug up and addressed Scully.

"How's this?"

"That's great." She moaned in pain.

I looked down at the warden and for the second time that night my stomach dropped. She had the same bumps as Billy Miles. I tried not to let Scully see my panicked expression. I vowed not to leave her alone with this woman although I didn't say it out loud. I tried to sound confident as I ordered the warden to get more water.

While she was gone I helped Scully out of her clothes and into the t-shirt. For the few short moments I found myself faced with a naked Scully and I felt the blood rushing to my ears and cheeks. This instance was over as gone as it had come, because Scully was having another contraction and sank to the daybed whimpering. Quite a while passed till the game warden returned with a bucket of water. I went to check on the water on the stove. I carried the bucket to a table and set it next to the bucket of cold water. I scooped up some water and passed the glass to Scully.

"Here you go."

"Thank you." Scully mumbled taking a shaky sip.

The game warden took the glass from her.

"Thank you." She repeated.

I looked from the bucket of hot water to the warden and back to the water again. Without thinking I grabbed the bucket and flung it at the game warden, making sure not to hit Scully with the scalding water. I tossed down the bucket and picked up the game wardens shot gun from the table.

"Move!" I bellowed at her.  
I could see the fear and confusion in Scullys beautiful green eyes.

"Agent Reyes…what?"  
"Move out of here!" I screamed holding the gun on the game warden. Who was clearly in agony. She stumbled out of the door and knelt on the porch holding her face.

"Who are you?" My voice was ringing with terror.

"This baby will be born." She said with a surprisingly steady voice.

Cars were arriving around the buildings. I lowered my weapon in shock as I saw the shot Billy Miles stand up and slowly walk my way. From inside the house Scullys desperate screams reached my ears.

"Agent Reyes!"

I turned around and ran inside.

"What's happening?! What?!"

I tried to sound calm and comforting, but I don't think I could convince her.

"It's okay, Dana."

"What ….what…"  
"It's going to be okay."  
Scully looked up in horror as a group of people walked in led by Billy Miles.

"No!" Scully screamed in horror.

I grimaced when I saw them. I felt so sorry for Dana and in a strange way I felt like all of this was my fault.

Scully howled in pain as another contraction hit her. The people had crowded around the daybed. I was trying to concentrate only Scully and her baby, but I could tell that Dana was looking at the crowd in fear.

"This is my baby!" Dana had leaned against the iron bedpost and I was sitting at the foot of the bed between the redheads legs.

"You've got to push, Dana!"  
She was whimpering and pleading pitifully:  
"Please, don't let them take it!"

Time seemed to pass very quickly and Scullys baby was almost in this world.

"Come on, Dana. Push!" I yelled.

She screamed in response.

"Please, Monica, don't let this happen." She groaned.

I didn't show it, but it meant a lot to me, that she called me by my first name in such a situation.

"Dana, push!"

"It's mine!" She yelled at Billy Miles and the game warden and the others standing around watching.

Soon Dana hardly had enough voice left to say anything. For a moment she was silent, whimpering.

"Keep breathing, Dana! Keep breathing."

"Don't let them take it, Monica!"  
"Push! Push! Push, Dana, push!"

I could see the babies head. I put my hands underneath it to support it. With one last yell Scully pushed her child out and before I could blink I held a new born boy. He was so tiny. He started yelling and his cries mingled with those of his mother. He was trembling, so I wrapped him in one of the sheets I had laid by the bed. I stood up and laid the little boy on his mothers arms. The silent bystanders had started filing out the door. I looked down at the exhausted redhead as she stroked her sons face lovingly. Although she was sweaty and her eyes were red and puffy, she looked beautiful to me. She was looking down at her boy tears running down her face. The sight almost made me cry myself.  
"You did well." I whispered leaning down to kiss her forehead. She looked at me and raised a hand and laid it on the back of my neck and pulled me towards her. "Could this be?" I thought. "Yes, it could!"  
she kissed me passionately and when the slightly salty kiss ended she smiled at me.

"Thank you."  
I was speechless and could not believe that she had just done what I thought she had done.

"Scully!" Dana looked away from me and peered out of the window.

"Mulder…" Scully said with a week voice.

"Stay here, I'll get him." I walked to the door, turned around and looked at Scully again. She held her boy in her arms, but she was so done in that she had closed her eyes and leaned back.

I stepped outside. The last few cars were driving away and Special Agent Fox Mulder stood in the road looking rather lost.

"Mulder!" I yelled.  
He saw me and rushed toward the porch.

"How is she?" he asked speeding past me.

I was starting to notice how fatigued I was.

"She's inside. She needs to get to the hospital."

He ran inside. Almost immediately he returned and sprinted to the helicopter he seemed to have come in. I sank to my knees feeling horribly dizzy. The last thing I remember was falling to the dusty road of Democrat Hot Springs before all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

I felt pressure in my ears as I woke for a short moment, hearing the roar of the helicopter before I fell back into darkness.

"Monica?" I could hear the familiar voice calling my name. But I didn't want to open my eyes. I felt so relaxed and I had almost forgotten what had happened before I had blacked out.  
"Monica, wake up. I know you can hear me."  
Reluctantly I opened my eyes and immediately regretted it and shut them again, the light was so blinding I couldn't stand it. After letting my eyes get used to the brightness I looked around and saw Scully standing over me smiling.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me in a bright tone of voice.

"All right, I think… how long was I out?" I tried sitting up, as I wanted to stretch my legs. Scully put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back down.  
"You were gone for a long time, you should take it easy."  
I grumbled, but in the end let her have her will. I didn't want to argue.

"You can go home this afternoon." Scully said.

"Where is your son?" I asked letting my eyes wander around the room I was in. I suspected that I was in a hospital.

"Right over here." Scully walked across the room to another bed with a buggy next to it. She lifted the little boy up and carried him back to me. Dana looked down at him with such love as she laid him in my arms. I gazed at this tiny creature in my hands and he gazed back with big green eyes.  
"He has your eyes." I said softly and smiled at her. "What are you going to call him?" I added.

"William." She answered putting a hand on his head.

"You know…um…" Her voice was shaking a bit.  
"What's up?" I asked handing William back to her.

"I'm still … sort of… done in and – you don't have to do this if you don't want to – I wanted to ask you if you would help me take care of William for a while." She wasn't looking at me and instead she was very interested in Williams's blanket.

"Dana." She looked at me and I rested my hand on her arm. "I would love to help." I smiled at her and took her hand in mine. She smiled at me and gave my hand a soft squeeze.

"Thank you."  
A few hours later, after the doctors had finished making sure I was all right, I found myself in Scullys car with William in the back seat. We drove to Dana's apartment and unloaded the baby. We put him to sleep in his crib and sat down together in her living room.  
"Where is Mulder anyway?" I asked and Scully sighed. "Forget I asked." I added hastily. I regretted having brought him up. Scully's eyes were filling with tears. She had been through so much with him and I had the feeling that he had hurt her while I was out of it. I put a comforting arm around her shoulders.  
"I'm sorry..." I mumbled in a quiet voice.

"It's getting late." Dana said sniffing and getting to her feet. "I think I'll turn in."  
"I'll sleep on the sofa all right?" I asked with caution.  
"Okay." She walked into the bedroom and closed the door.  
For a moment I sat there and stared at the door for a minute. I stood up and walked to the phone and dialed. After a few moments someone answered.  
"Dogget."  
"John! Where is Mulder?" I asked.

"Monica? How are you?" Dogget said ignoring my question.

"Where is Mulder, John?" I repeated in a firm voice.

There was a long silence at the other end until Dogget sighed.

"He's gone."  
"What do you mean he's gone?! What happened while I was in the hospital?" I almost yelled into the phone before I remembered the baby.

"Monica… you were there for two days."  
I was shocked. I had thought it had been a night or so but not two days!

"And Mulder left. We don't know where he is" Dogget spoke in a quiet voice. "Scully was pretty upset." He added.

"I'll take care of her." I promised and hung up. I heaved a sigh and sat down on my makeshift bed. I wanted help Scully, but how? Did she love him? If so why had she kissed me? It irritated me that she was pretending that nothing had happened. I lay down and reached up over my head to turn of the light. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. About a half an hour later I heard William crying so I jumped up and rushed into Scullys room to his crib. Dana had just woken up and was slowly getting up till she saw me. "Thanks" she mumbled letting herself fall back into her pillows. I gently picked up the bawling child and walked into the kitchen with him. Scully had put some bottles of mothers milk in the fridge, so I grabbed one, held it under warm water and tested the temperature before feeding the whining boy. He drank his fill and promptly nodded of to in my arms. I put him back in his crib and made my way back to the living room when Scully caught my eye. She looked so peaceful when she slept. For a long time I just stood there watching her. I felt the uncontrollable urge to touch her. I walked toward her and knelt by her side. I softly ran my fingers over her closed eyelids and through her soft hair. She sighed in her sleep and rolled away from me. I thought it would be best to let her rest. It would be awkward if she woke up. I dragged myself back to the sofa and tried to sleep again. I imagined how it would be lying next to her putting my arm around her. Although the thought alone made me get butterflies in my stomach, strangely enough it relaxed me and I could go to sleep. When William cried again about two hours later I heard Scully moving around and didn't bother getting up. I closed my eyes and waited for quiet to return to the apartment. It was a long tiring night and I was glad when the sun came up.

Scully looked even worse than I felt.

"Good morning…" She mumbled walking into the kitchen. I followed her and offered to make coffee.

"That would be great." She said.

I set about making the java. When Scully asked:

"Were you talking yesterday?"  
"Yeah umm… I called Agent Dogget." I didn't dare look at her.

"Because of Mulder?" she asked trying to sound casual.

"Yeah…"  
"What did he say?"  
I sighed "That Mulder was gone. He didn't know where. And … and that you were upset about it."  
I turned around to face her and found her looking at me.

"You want to know why." She said simply. I couldn't read her expression, but she didn't seem angry.

"It would interest me, but I hardly think it concerns me." I plopped down in a chair across from her.

"I think it does." She said in response. "I think I owe you an explanation. It's a long story you might want some coffee first." She nodded toward the coffee machine.

I waited for it and filled to cups with the hot drinks. Sitting down again handing the red head her cup.

"All right, as you know I was assigned to the X-Files about 7 years ago to debunk them. When I met Agent Mulder I was determined to help him. Although I didn't believe half of what he told me, something intrigued me. And even though I seemed to always be against him, secretly I hated myself for doing that." Dana took a long sip of her coffee and went on.

"I had fallen in love with him." As she said those words I felt my heart sink. "But when he disappeared and we found him dead I wanted to give up on him. I still had his child after all. I was determined to let Mulder rest in peace against and go on with my life. Then he came back and I made the mistake of getting my hopes up. When I had William and he came to get us from the hot springs I was sure we would be happy again. But then something inside me made me kiss you that night." She looked up at me from her cup. "And I didn't need Mulder anymore; at least that's what I thought. He came to my apartment too see his son. He kissed me. Her eyes filled with tears again and she looked away. "I'm so confused. And now Mulder is gone!" She buried her face in her hands. I stood up, walked around the table and wrapped my arms around the weeping woman.

"It's okay." I whispered in her ear.  
"Maybe it would be best if I left." I gave her a soft pat on the shoulder. Straightening up I made my way to the door.

"No… don't you leave me too." Scully looked up at me as I turned around. I wanted to leave, but something in her eyes made me want to stay. I felt like she had betrayed me. I didn't know what to say or to think.

"Do you love me?" She asked me suddenly.

Her question started me. I knew the answer, but it was amazingly hard to say. Three little words; I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Pull yourself together Reyes!" I thought to myself, took a deep breath and said it:  
"Yes I do…"  
I could see the sadness leave Danas face. She got up and walked over me.

"That is the difference between you and Mulder." She said simply. I smiled and wiped the tears from her face with my thumbs.

"That's funny; I thought Mulder was a guy." I pulled her closer to me and wanted to kiss her smiling lips. Before our lips touched, I heard William crying in the other room. I smiled at Dana and mumbled:  
"I guess that's why it scares men when you say you have a kid." I smiled at her, kissed her on the cheek and went to check on the baby.

About a half an hour later Scully and I were sitting in the living room. I had my arm around her shoulders and she leaned against me. It was late morning and I offered to make lunch for the two of us.

"I have to warn you though I can only make spaghetti with red sauce." I said getting up and slowly walked to the kitchen with Dana following me:  
"That sounds great."  
I set to work and asked Scully to tell me about some of the cases she had worked on in the X-Files.

"In my first year Mulder made me go to Alaska to work on a case. A group of researchers had mysteriously been killed. When we arrived we found this worm that made people extremely aggressive, when it got into the blood stream. You know, now that I don't have something extraordinary happening to me every week I realized how scared I was in those situations."  
"I can imagine." We both laughed and I almost chopped my finger off with the knife I was using to cut the veggies for the sauce.

"Where did that worm thing come from?"  
"I can't really remember…I think it had something to do with the ice the researchers were working on."  
I was standing in front of the stove stirring the sauce, when I heard Scully get up. She moved behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I'm so happy you're here with me." She mumbled softly.

In that moment I felt a wave of affection toward the shorter woman hugging my back. I started trembling and almost knocked over the pot.

"You're going to make me ruin our lunch, Dana." I said chuckling weakly. She let me go laughing and pushed the hair from the back of my neck and gave me a soft kiss, which sent a chill down my back.

"All right, we don't want that do we? I'll go check on William." She left the room.

When the meal was ready I poured the noodles into a sieve and put the sauce in a bowl, which I set on the table.

I went to get Scully who was in her room. She was standing over her sons crib looking down at him. This time I put my arms around her." He's so tiny…" I said. "He'll be really handsome when he grows up I'm sure." I said kissing her ear. "Just as good looking as his mother. So, you want to come eat?"

"Yeah…" she said turning around. She was blushing as she led the way back to the kitchen.

We ate together and Scully wouldn't stop complimenting on my cooking until I promised to teach her the recipe.

Later we found ourselves in the living room again and I had been thinking about the situation with the FBI. We would both be fired, if anyone found out about our relationship. I wanted to talk to Scully about it, but wanted to wait for the right moment and on the other hand I wasn't sure weather she was really serious about us or if I was just the second choice.

"If Mulder came back would you still want me?"

Scully looked at me as if I had said I was from mars.

"Monica, what do you mean? Of course I would!"  
"You've loved him for so long… don't you think you-"  
She interrupted me abruptly:  
"Yes, I did love him and you freed me. I would prove it to you, but you are just going to have to trust me. "She put her hand on my neck turning my upper body toward her.

"I love you." She said before our lips touched. This time there was no baby and we kissed passionately until both of us were breathing heavily. I retreated slightly, wrapping my arms around her. I pulled her onto my lap holding her tightly. She put her hands on my shoulders and I kissed her again. We stayed like this on the sofa of her apartment living room until William woke up about ten minutes later. By now I had gotten so used to the boys cries and almost didn't hear the little boy's yells, but Scully reacted immediately. She went to get her son and returned holding him in her arms. She plopped down next to me and I put my arm around her. I rested my head on her shoulder and looked down at the adorable little boy. William gurgled happily and cuddled up against his mother who looked down at him.

"You know, I've been thinking…" She said.

"If anyone back at the FBI hears about this we will both lose our jobs."  
"Yeah, I know. But what do you think we could do?" I asked looking at her.

"Well… as I see it we have three options: First of all, we go on as we are now and try to hide it. Secondly: We quit the FBI and look for new jobs. Or the third option…" She stopped and returned my gaze with a serious expression. "We end this now and go back to the way things were before."  
I was staring at her with a blankly.

"Are you serious?!" I said dryly.

"No I'm not." She smiled and kissed my cheek.

"God! Don't scare me like that! I thought you were subtly trying to get rid of me." I pretended to be mad at her before I was laughing again.

"But really now… You love your job and I would hate for you to lose it." William had fallen asleep in Scully's lap and was silently drooling on his mother's blouse.

"You are more important to me. We can work this out. I glanced at the clock and saw how late it was. Suspecting another short night I suggested going to bed. Scully walked into the bedroom and laid her son in his crib. She came back out wearing her PJ's while I was getting my makeshift bed ready.

"You're kidding right?" Scully said chuckling quietly.

I looked up at her feeling slightly confused.

"What?"  
"you don't really think I'm going to let you sleep in here… alone." She took my hand and led me into the bedroom. I came up close to her and put my hands on her waist softly kissing her. I gently pushed her toward the bed and she sat down. Leaning over her I lowered her onto her back. Suddenly there was a soft caugh that came from the crib.

"Oh… I forgot about William." Scully said looking past me. Do you think you could hear him in the other room?"

"Yeah sure" I answered.

I got up and carefully moved the crib into the other room. When I returned Scully was still lying where I had left her and I pretended to pounce on her. I landed next to her and rolled and sat up. I found myself kneeling over the beautiful redhead looking down at her. I was not quite sure how to go about this and felt horribly nervous, on top of everything else I didn't want to have to admit to Scully that I had never been with a woman before her. I sighed and gave her an unsure smile.

"Monica, are you okay?" Scully asked with her hands on my lower back.  
"Just…. Umm… never… you know…" I looked down past her and inspected the sheets.

"Never been with a woman?" She asked slipping out from under me and sitting up. She took my face in her hands so I had no option but to look at her.  
"you don't have to be nervous. There isn't really anything you can do wrong. And you're not alone."  
She kissed me.

"Just relax."  
I did my best and pushed her on her back again. I ignored the fact that I was trembling. I started unbuttoning her PJ top, pulled it off and tossed it out of sight. I leaned down and kissed her neck; she sighed and put her hands in my hair. I rolled off of her so that we were facing each other on the bed. While she was ridding me of my T-shirt I moved my leg up between the two of hers. Soon I was shirtless and my bare skin was close to hers. I moved her onto her back and traced invisible lines across her chest and abdomen with my fingers. Moving down slowly caressing her collar bone gently, while unbuttoning her PJ bottoms with my free hand the other was on her back with my arm wrapped around her waist. I slipped my hand under her pants and I looked into her green eyes and she looked back at me. Slowly I began rhythmically moving my hand up and down. Dana grabbed a tuft of my hair and groaned quietly. She pulled me by my hair back to up to her. She gave me a sloppy kiss. She was panting softly and moaning occasionally. The redhead began moving her pelvis up and down in time with my actions. Scully was getting louder as I speeded up my movements.

"Monica!" She yelled again and again as I pushed her over the edge. Dana was ringing for breath and I lay down next to her and wrapped my arms around her. She put her head on my shoulder and put her hand on my chest. I pulled a blanket over the two of us.

Scully looked up at me and raised a hand which she ran along my cheek, lightly touching my lips. I held her tightly: I could feel her heart racing and her body trembling lightly. She closed her eyes and rested her head on my shoulder again. She sighed and nestled up against me. Her breathing became long and deep and she had obviously fallen asleep. I lay awake staring at the ceiling feeling the warmth coming from the smaller form cuddled up against my side. Soon I heard Williams's cries from the other room and eased out from under the sleeping Scully to take care of the baby. When I returned I crept back under the cover and took Scully in my arms again. Only now was I realizing how drained I was from that nights exertions. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Twice more that night William called for my attention twitch was a new record and I was glad to get a bit more sleep.

The next day was similar to the one before that, but my absence from work didn't go unnoticed and Dogget called up one evening in a panic wanting to know where I was.  
"She's fine, Dogget… no… yes… yes I'll tell her that." She hung up and turned to me. "We'll Dogget wants you back, so I guess you've got to go back to work."

I protested, but not for long; it was useless. The next day I found myself in the FBI headquarters with John Dogget. I hated leaving Dana and William alone at home. Every night when I came home I walked in the door and was pounced on by Scully. I kissed her tenderly and set her on her feet again.  
"how was your day?" She asked as I tossed my coat over a nearby chair. "You don't plan on leaving that there do you?" Hastily I picked up my jacket and hung it up neatly.

"I guess it was all right, but I'm glad to have a weekend to relax. You know I think we should go somewhere, we'll take William, too." I suggested.

"Where do you think we could go?" Scully followed me into the kitchen where we both sat down at the table.  
"I don't know. Just get out for a change." It had been almost two months since that night in Democrat Hot Springs. Time seemed to pass so quickly with Dana and William. The two of us decided to visit an old vacation house that the Scully family used to visit. We packed a few things and got William ready. After we loaded everything into the car we drove off. It was about a two hour drive most of the way through thick forest. The leaves were slowly but surely turning yellow and orange. As I drove along the rural roads I couldn't help but think of our drive to the Hot Springs. The difference was that Scully was awake and was talking to me in a chipper tone of voice.

The house or better the hut was tiny. There was a kitchen a bathroom and three tiny little bedrooms. Most of the weekend Dana and I spent sitting outside on the porch talking. "When are you going to have to go back to work anyway?" I asked as we sat together outside in the early evening on Saturday. We had just eaten dinner and were now cuddling, enjoying the sunset.

"I think I get a year off. Don't I? I don't actually know." Dana said chuckling.

"You seem to be very well informed." I replied laughing.  
I hugged Dana a bit tighter in my arms.

"I wish we could just stay here forever."  
"Yeah… It would be nice." Scully answered in an absentminded tone of voice. "I've always wanted a house like this, to live in, but it's so far away from everything."  
"you can come here when you retire." I smiled at her.

"What about you? It sounds like you don't think you will be here anymore." She said, sounding worried.

"I don't know… something seems off." I answered and Dana turned around with and appalled expression on her face.

"You've said that before!"  
"Don't worry about it."

"Last time you were right, Monica." She got up and started pacing up and down.

"Nothing lasts forever, Dana. Let's enjoy what we have now." I took her hand and pulled her onto my lap.

"I love you, Dana." I said holding her tight.

"I love you too." She answered giving me a sweet kiss

Because I still had paperwork to do we left sometime around noon. I felt refreshed and relaxed after my short vacation. After packing everything, we had a long discussion about who would drive. Dana wanted to take her turn, but I had gotten so used to it by now I wanted to drive. In the end she won and I found myself pouting in the passenger's seat.

By the time we got back near town William was crying. We didn't have any food with us, so Dana was rushing. She turned around in her seat to comfort her son.

"DANA!" I tried to warn her, but she didn't have time to react.

A truck was speeding toward us from a side street; the driver obviously hadn't seen us. The truck crashed into the driver's side of the car. William screamed and something struck me on the head. I felt blood running down my face as we were thrown across the road. Our vehicle came to a stop in the front yard of an urban home. Dana looked bad, blood was running freely down her neck and she had a bad cut along her chest. I checked on William who seemed to be all right, say for the shock of the accident. I freed Scully from her seatbelt and dragged her out of the car. My heart was pounding madly as I laid her on the grass. She looked up at me with a blank expression. She looked frightfully pale and I was horribly worried about her. The bad feeling I had Saturday sure wasn't going away now.

"Dana?" My voice was shaking.

"Mo-Monica… it hu-hurts…" Her voice was a barely audible whisper.

I called out for help, but there was no response. I was shaking almost as badly as Dana was. I held her in my arms. Blood was trickling down out of her nose. She coughed agonizingly and blood sprayed from her mouth. Tears were welling up in my eyes. It was horrible to see her like this. I didn't know what to do. If only I had driven! She was dying and there was nothing I could do about it. She started twitching horribly. I tried to hold her tight to make the twitching stop. Then suddenly she was still. I lowered her to the ground. She stared up with empty eyes. Dana was dead. I howled in sorrow. I hugged her dead, limp body close to me and rocked back and forth. My soul was being ripped apart. She was gone. I didn't even get to say good bye.

For what seemed like ages I just sat there. It was too unreal. This couldn't be possible. I had never lost anyone this close to me before and the pain was too great to bear. I wanted to follow her; end the pain. Then a cry caught my attention;

William.

In the end he's what kept me going. I was allowed to adopt him. After Scully died I didn't want to go on working at the FBI. I quit. William is 16 years old now. When he was old enough I told him about his brave beautiful and courageous mother. But even before he knew anything about her he always acted like her. He had so many of her hobbits and his character reminded me so much of her. Oh, and not to forget that he wants to be an FBI agent when he grows up.


End file.
